Arundel top town

The Daily Telegraph found earlier this week that Arundel, between Brighton and Portsmouth, is Britain’s top country town. I am not going to argue, I have walked its lovely castle, strolled its lovely streets and shopped in its little, quirky (but also decidedly lovely) independent shops. I am not denying Arundel anything but surely this is another example of a spurious ‘top place to live list’. The Telegraph uses the following criteria to judge:

They have to have been shaped by history,
Dominated by a castle, abbey or a spectacular natural backdrop.
Each has to be master of its own outstanding landscape, a place where specialist shops have not been obliterated by chain stores.
It has to have a handsome church or market square that serves as a focal point.
It may tinkle with money, smart frock shops and foodie specialists, and be a place where sports clubs and poetry groups thrive.
Although it may have a large supermarket, it will be self-sufficient in banks, doctors and local stores.
It will be padded with pretty Georgian or Victorian houses - a neatly wrapped package to delight the eye.

These criteria would make a very fine list for ‘best place to potter around on a Sunday’ but they seem to ignore the fact that people live in country towns, a variety of people.

I myself grew up in a country town and I always found things like a large supermarket pretty, bloody useful. I will admit that throughout my stay in the town the constant lament as we sat in our less than smart frocks would be; “You know what? This town is pretty much there but the one thing it is missing is a thriving poetry group scene.”

I am not deriding poetry or posh frocks, I am just saying that this list seems to be a pretty specific idea of someone’s country idyll.

“It will be padded with Pretty Georgian or Victorian houses.” What? So any architecture pre 1700 will send the poor town spinning to the bottom of the list and architects have produced nothing of value since the Victorian age.

“A handsome church that serves as a focal point.” I hate to break it to the particular portion of society that the Telegraph serves but no-one goes to church anymore. The focal point of a community, since the enlightenment and even many years before, has been the pub. Furthermore, I would say the public house is the most important factor in deciding the top country town. I say this not as a seasoned alcoholic but as one that knows how essential and central to a small community a pub is. On a side note: You may find that locals may not take kindly to their local pub being taken over and turned into a gastro ‘foodie’ eatery for the kind of people that are tinkling money about and making demands. (Sorry wrong meeting).

The list reflects the desires of a London commuter crowd that want to escape from the noise of the city and there is nothing wrong with this as long as said commuters realise they are moving into a community and that people actually live in these places, postcards do not have the amenities to sustain people.

I am also saying that what thrills one person does not another and to declare a town the best based on such a narrow view of what constitutes greatness is a pointless exercise.

Is it not equally fair to say that?
It must have a pub with an open fire and an old senile dog.
A fountain in the middle that the kids leaving school throw bubble bath in to watch it take over the square.
A video shop (a telegraph nose shoots up) so that people in the town can get videos out when they have seen about as much as they can stand of the local monument of historical interest.
A bus that runs more than once a day and on weekends to a nearby place with real stuff to do in it.