ACT BLOG: Property TV

Whether television is a reflection of our national obsessions or a cause of them is unclear but the truth is that if we did not watch a programme it would eventually go away. If however we do watch it, it will spawn copies of itself all subtly different but with the same genetic structure. This has always been the case, at some point several years ago our nation’s twin addictions of television and property were merged to form a virulent televisual illness whose symptoms we are still suffering to this day.

These programs have little or no value, are predictable and seem to offer the audience nothing more than a chance to guess the eventual selling price of some bricks, look at someone else’s terrible interior or gasp in amazement when they realise that for the same price they live in a cupboard in Chelsea they could buy the Midlands.

What I am trying to say is that if you are one of the people watching these programs then please can you stop or they will continue to spread throughout the listings. If you are interested in guess the price competitions then collect some brochures from your local estate agent and test each other.

Here is an example of a typical weekday TV schedule; it is from today, 5 November.

You can start with Homes under the Hammer on BBC1 - A wonderful leap of the imagination for a TV producer when it was decided to combine our love for property with 'cheap as chips' auction house nonsense.

Next up is To Buy or not to buy, again on BBC 1 – a Couple look around some properties, hazard a guess at the price, and pick one to buy, gripping.

Room for improvement on channel 4 – This time it is about staying put and knocking a few walls through or burrowing a couple of meters into the earth’s crust to increase value. Today a woman is building a £15,000 tree house to improve her property value. It just goes to show how much the pocket money of your average 10 year old has risen nowadays.

Then ITVs 60 Minute Makeover – It is not clear whether the title of this show refers to how long it takes them to do the make over or how long their hasty work is supposed to last.

Following on is Escape to the Country on BBC2 – see To Buy or not to Buy, but with more money and manure.

Dispatches: The Housing Trap – Another apocalyptic prophecy from the Dispatches doomsayers (at least these are fun).

DIY SOS – The fact that these people turned to the TV for help in solving their problem should be a good clue as to how they got in to trouble in the first place.

That’s around five and a half hours of property shows in just one day. You could waste just over 17 years of your life watching these shows and judging from the fact they are still been produced at a rate of knots it is likely that some people do.

Please I implore any viewers to stop watching these shows, please. (Apart of course from Grand Designs which is really very good)

 

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